Grief is a NORMAL response to loss and loss comes in many forms…
- Death of a person
- Death of a pet
- Injury
- Accident
- Illness
- Separation
- Divorce
- Identity
- Freedom
- Ideals
- Finances
- Job
- Home
- Security
- Safety
The five stages of grief outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross were not meant to be a linear or prescribed recovery model. They are a starting point for understanding typical reactions to loss.
Denial
This part of grief is also known as shock. That state of disbelief: “I can’t believe this happened” or “This doesn’t seem real.” We may become numb, which is our body’s response to protect us from overwhelming feelings. We are in survival mode. And that’s okay.
Anger
Anger helps express the unfairness of it all. Because let’s face it, grief sucks. It’s healthy to feel anger (as well as any other feeling that comes up for that matter). Anger brings you out of the unreal and gives you a focus. You may discover you feel angry at yourself, at the person who died or left, at others involved in the situation, at the world, or even at God.
Bargaining
This phase of grief is about a sense of false hope, making a deal, and takes us away from the overwhelming despair if even for a moment. We imagine how we can mitigate or reverse (or fix) the loss. We may make promises: “If she takes me back I’ll never argue with her again” or “I’ll dedicate my life to my health if I survive this illness.”
This stage of grief is characterized by “what if’s”, which bridge the gap between what is happening and what we think we can do to stop it. Guilt can be a driving force in this stage as we feel some sense of responsibility for the loss.
Depression
Depression after a loss is very normal and not considered clinical depression. It’s called bereavement. It’s a natural reaction to loss. This is the phase where reality sets in to shine a light on what’s missing, how things have changed, and what the loss means. You may question who you are and your priorities. Perhaps you blame yourself. You may even feel a sense of relief, which is often confusing when combined with other feelings like sadness.
Acceptance
Accepting a loss is not the same as “getting over it.” Accepting is more about understanding that life after loss is different and making adjustments as needed. It’s about living in a world where the person or thing that was a big part of your life no longer exists.
If you’re a woman residing in Arizona and would like support in dealing with your loss and stages of grief, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute phone consult with me to see how I might help. Simply click on the BOOK FREE CONSULT button and let’s connect.
