Grieving the Loss of Normal

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Aside from the obvious loss of life associated with COVID-19, there are many other losses happening on a global scale. While not all losses are created equal, the one thing they all have in common is…

Grief.

Grief simply is the reaction to loss. It can look different for different people. And it can look different for different losses. Even losing two different people can bring up two different grieving experiences.

Another type of loss that many people are experiencing right now is the loss of “normal.” Even though this may look and feel different, it still brings up grief.

Life has changed. The way we interact with each other has changed. The way we do many things has changed – things like shop, get food, learn, attend meetings, socialize, and work to name a few.

But recognizing loss can be a challenge. Here are some possible loses you may be experiencing right now:

  • Job
  • Income
  • Health
  • Death of a loved one
  • Separation or divorce
  • Change in health
  • Social interaction
  • Freedom
  • Energy
  • Motivation
  • Sleep
  • Hopes
  • Dreams
  • Plans
  • Graduation
  • Support system
  • Daily routines
  • Product shortages
  • Food shortages
  • Time in nature
  • Vacations
  • Business trips
  • Sports
  • Recreation activities
  • Live music
  • Purpose
  • Belonging
  • Opportunities
  • Structure

No matter what losses you may be grieving, here are 3 simple steps to dealing with them:

1. Acknowledge the loss

When you experience a loss, you may experience it in really big ways or smaller ways. Big grief can include emotional shock, panic, intense sadness, or disbelief. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and needing to step away or distract yourself. Small grief can include frustration, irritability, and discomfort. Regardless of how big or small the loss seems, acknowledge that there is a loss. For smaller losses, there may be a tendency to dismiss them. But doing so can do more harm than good. Simply say to yourself out loud or in your head that you are experiencing loss can be the first step toward healing.

2. Feel the loss

There is no right or wrong way to feel. Feelings are just an indication or signal. So allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Think of yourself riding a wave. For example, if you feel sad, notice that it may start with a thought. Then, it will build to an intensity that could include tears or another physical sensation. Finally, it will dissolve and you will feel some relief. Waves come and go, just like emotions.

3. Learn from the loss

Once you have acknowledged the loss and feel the loss, you can start to look for the lessons. This involves taking a look at how the loss is affecting you now and if there’s anything you can do differently in the future. For example, if one of your losses is daily routines, take a look at how you can change your routines and how those changes can make your routines even stronger in the future.

During the time of COVID, everyone is experiencing some type of loss. If you are having a tough time coping with all the loss you are experiencing, whether it’s related to the pandemic or not, working with a therapist may help.

I provide therapy to women throughout Arizona and offer phone consultations to see if I’m a good fit to help you. Click the BOOK FREE CONSULT button to schedule your consult.

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