Self-Compassion can improve your mental health and wellness. That’s why I recommend it as one of the three essential boosters to a well-rounded self-care or wellness routine. In this article, I’ll share information about what self-compassion is, the benefits of self-compassion, and some ways to practice self-compassion.
What is Self-Compassion
According to researcher and teacher Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion involves trading in harsh self-criticism for kindness and understanding when faced with mistakes, shortcomings, or failures.
Dr. Neff breaks down self-compassion into 3 elements:
Self-Kindness
Our inner self-critic can get triggered when things aren’t going the way we like or when we receive or perceive judgement from others. Self-compassion involves bringing a sense of gentleness and understanding to ourselves when we are struggling, makes mistakes, or feel under the scrutiny of others.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of bringing awareness to the present moment, with intention, and without judgement. In a previous article, How Mindfulness Can Improve Mental Health and Wellness, I go into more detail about what mindfulness is, its benefits, and ways to practice.
Bringing mindfulness into self-compassion involves noticing the discomfort that often accompanies self-judgement and self-criticism. Sitting with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings is a first step and can be quite challenging. The paradox is that noticing, acknowledging, being present with, and even being curious about the discomfort often diffuses its power over us.
Common Humanity
When facing challenges, it’s human to struggle. And when we struggling, it’s human to isolate ourselves from others. But this isolation can create a sense of separateness leading us to believe no one understands and we are alone. But suffering and feeling inadequate is part of a shared human experience. This common ground and identification that we are no alone is a cornerstone to practicing self-compassion.
What are the Benefits of Self-Compassion and How it Can Improve Your Mental Health and Wellness
In their book, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer, explore the benefits of self-compassion, including:
Less
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Shame
More
- Happiness
- Life satisfaction
- Self-confidence
- Physical health
How to Practice Self-Compassion
A good place to start practicing self-compassion is to first take a look at how self-compassionate you already are. Dr. Neff shares the “How Self-Compassionate Am I?” quiz on her website. You can use this to gauge where you are now, and go back to it to see the progress you’ve made over time.
There are several practices you can employ to increase your self-compassion.
Do unto yourself as you already do unto others
Many people who struggle with self-compassion are very compassionate toward others. Take a bit of your own advice and use the words of comfort and actions you so easily provide to others on yourself.
Be your own cheerleader
Think about words or phrases that help you when you are feeling down on yourself or encourage you when you need an extra boost. Write the words or phrases down and post them so you can see them often.
Use supportive touch
Touch is a powerful tool that can increase warm and loving feelings while also calming yourself down from difficult thoughts and feelings. You can place your hand on your body to find what areas provide the most soothing response. Start with placing your hand on your heart, taking some deep breaths, and noticing how that touch point feels. Experiment with placing your hand on different areas of your body, such as your cheek, arms, abdomen, etc.
Keep a self-compassion journal
You can use a journal to write about challenging events while also bringing in compassionate self-talk.
Write a letter to yourself
While recalling a challenging situation (nothing too traumatic), write a letter to yourself describing what happened without blaming anyone, including yourself.
Self-Compassion is a practice I love to teach to the people I work with. Want to learn more about self-compassion and how to practice it? Check out our wellness services.
Read about the other two self-care boosters I recommend: mindfulness and gratitude.
Photo: Image by vined mind from Pixabay
