Welcome to part 3 of the series about Learning How to Love Yourself. In the first article, we explored what gets in the way of self-love, the first step toward practicing self-love, and the 5 Love Languages. In this article, it’s all about how to practice self-love through Quality Time.
Quality Time is all about giving undivided attention. Think about how often you are on auto-pilot and can’t quite remember how you arrived at point B, or what you walked in the other room to grab. If quality time is one of your love languages, get ready to enjoy spending time with yourself.
Quality Time Tip 1: Take yourself out on a date
That’s right…date yourself. Who knows what you enjoy better than you? Take some time to think about what YOU would enjoy doing on a date. Dinner, movies, stargazing, concert, art class, picnic in the park? The sky’s the limit. Start by making a list of all the things you would enjoy doing. Then narrow down the list and pick a few to research further. Next, research any details you need to know, such as location, price, availability, etc. Next, it’s time to plan the date. Make any reservations you need and mark your calendar. Get ready for your self-date just like you would any other date.
Quality Time Tip 2: Practice mindfulness
Instead of defaulting to your auto-pilot mode, make an effort to practice ways to keep yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is literally about being in the present moment, intentionally, without judgement. What better way to enjoy some quality time with yourself than to partake in an activity geared towards experiencing each moment. Start by focusing on your breath. Make any adjustments to ensure you get a full breath in and a full breath out. Then notice your body, giving it your attention. You may start at your feet, noticing each body part until you reach the top of your head. When you notice your attending wandering, simply and gently bring your attention back to your body. You can read more about mindfulness, its benefits, and ways to practice.
Quality Time Tip 3: Schedule time for fun
Fun is often the first thing to fall off the radar when life gets hectic. But it’s one of the most important things you can do to relieve stress, shift your perspective, and get back in tough with the warm, fuzzy feeling (all part of loving yourself). Start by thinking of the things you enjoy doing. Then make a list of ALL the things. No activity is too big or too small. Next go through the list and mark which are the most realistic for you to do within the next week. Now go to that fun thing. Be cautious about making it too complicated. If there are a lot of steps to doing the fun thing, perhaps that thing needs to wait. What is something fun you can do with little to no planning, won’t take a lot of time, and is sure to put a smile on your face? DO IT!
Tips for Enjoying Quality Time:
- Schedule time for you. Take out your calendar and put yourself on it.
- Write it down. You are likely to forget all the possibilities of things you enjoy doing when you’re in the not-so-loving-myself place. So, write it down and keep a list handy for quick access.
- Remind yourself. Set timers on your device. Post notes where you can see them.
- Set aside time each day for quality time. Set an alarm if you need to.
- Track how you are feeling. Take note of how you feel before, during, and after spending time with yourself.
- Check-in regularly. Review your progress and make any changes needed to your quality time activities. Note any patterns in how you feel. Basically, keep doing what’s working, and either modify or stop doing what isn’t.
In other articles, we’ll explore using the other love languages – Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch – to practice self-love.
If you are struggling to love yourself, I’d be happy to provide a consult to see how I might be able to help. You can book that here. For those living in Arizona, I offer individual and group counseling. For those living anywhere, I provide educational, supportive, and experiential wellness services.
