Is Your Emotionally Abusive Past Haunting Your Present?
Does our current political climate bring up memories of emotional abuse by your mother and/or father?
Do you struggle with feelings of unworthiness even though you are accomplished and appear to have it all together?
Do you find yourself sabotaging your success and settling for less than you know you deserve?
If you grew up with a parent who has narcissistic traits, chances are you are still experiencing the effects. You may notice repeating patterns in the partners you choose, jobs you’ve had, and relationships you have with yourself and others, as well as how you treat yourself, deal with conflict, and manage stress.
Life can seem like a whirlwind of chaos at times, with you left wondering why you seem to attract people and situations that cause so much pain. You may ask “why me” and see yourself as not good enough. You may feel you don’t deserve love and happiness.
Adult Children of Narcissists Experience Life Differently
You are not alone. When your parent was explosive and unpredictable growing up, you learned to expect that from the world. Normal may include allowing others to treat you poorly and you making excuses for their behavior; or you acting like the “good girl/boy,” doing what’s expected of you and not making waves; or you being identified as the “black sheep” of the family for daring to go against what you know isn’t right, even when others try to convince you it is.
Many survivors of parental narcissistic abuse struggle with feelings of emptiness, lack of contentment, worry about their own parenting, difficulty trusting people (including themselves), challenges separating from their parent, crippling self-doubt, and patterns of self-sabotage.
It is not uncommon for children growing up in the same household with a narcissistic parent to experience life differently. One may be the “golden child,” always trying to be in their parent’s good graces to avoid the brunt of their berating and emotional abuse. Another may be the “scapegoat,” always blamed for whatever isn’t right in their parent's eyes. What research has shown is that despite having these different experiences, children of narcissistic parents often come out with the same wound of not feeling good enough.
No matter how you get to your feeling of not being good enough, this can lead to making poor choices, developing unhealthy coping skills, and even significant emotional and physical health problems.
The good news is that with the help of a compassionate, experienced therapist you can move through your childhood trauma and adult experiences to find a better way of living and the sense that you are not only good enough but better than good enough.
Therapy Can Help You Recover from Parental Narcissistic Abuse
Confronting emotional abuse requires courage, which can be especially difficult when it involves a parent’s abuse. We are hard-wired to love our parents no matter what. Yet this doesn’t give them the right to abuse that power. You are worth fighting for your right to be a loved and loving adult.
Therapy for narcissistic abuse recovery can help you untangle the web of confusion, conflicting feelings, and wounds of emotional trauma. You can move at your own pace with a therapist specifically trained in helping clients recover from parental narcissistic abuse.
In our sessions, we’ll address your individual needs, concerns, and goals. My first objective is to help you feel safe and validated in your own experience of being a survivor of parental narcissistic abuse, which is unique to you. I’ll use a researched model of treatment, “Will I Ever Be Good Enough”, developed by Dr. Karyl McBride, to take you through 5 steps of recovery. We’ll explore the effects of your upbringing, process through grieving the mother and/or father you had and the mother and/or father you wish you had, and end the narcissistic legacy so you can break free from the abusive ties.
You may not believe you can heal from narcissistic abuse, but I will challenge you to trust the process, which may seem like one step forward, two steps back at times. Overcoming childhood emotional abuse is not a straight line. You will take many detours and uncover unexpected things about yourself (including how strong you really are). And I will be there to support you as you courageously move through your healing journey.
Aside from my professional training and experience (which you can read more about here), I’ve also experienced maternal narcissistic abuse firsthand. I’ve struggled with feeling good enough and noticed repeating patterns of self-sabotage in my own life. I sought therapy to deal with my complicated feelings about my mother. I learned how to grieve the loss of the mother I wish I had, set boundaries, shed my inner “good girl”, and thrive without the need for her approval. I believe my personal experience has made me a better therapist to help guide others through their own recovery of maternal narcissistic abuse.
But You May Still Have Questions or Concerns About Recovery from Parental Narcissistic Abuse…
Recovery from any kind of childhood trauma can be uncomfortable. But chances are, the discomfort you are already feeling (and likely have been feeling for years) in your relationships, your self-doubt, your distrust of others will continue and possibly get worse. Keep in mind the goal of therapy is to heal old wounds, decrease distressing symptoms, learn new skills, and increase life satisfaction and happiness. Part of that process includes confronting things that can be uncomfortable. But I’ll be there with you every step of the way.
Think of therapy for maternal narcissistic abuse as an investment in yourself and your emotional well-being. I know you’ve been programmed to not get your needs met or ask for help, but you deserve so much more. By gaining insight into your childhood experiences, developing and strengthening healthy coping skills and getting support, you are setting yourself up for the life you deserve to live without the pain and suffering you are currently experiencing. This can also set you up to move through future challenges more quickly and easily.
Adult Children of Narcissists Can Recover
If you would like to discuss how I might be able to help you recover from the effects of being raised by a parent with narcissistic traits, I invite you to book a no-cost 15-minute phone consultation so we can talk, ask each other some questions, and decide a good next step for you (even if it’s not working with me). Click on the BOOK FREE CONSULT button to schedule and learn more about therapy for adult children of narcissists in the Phoenix, AZ metro area and throughout Arizona.
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