In Step 1 of Self-Care on Steroids, I walked you through a process of identifying what is working, what needs to be changed, what needs to be eliminated, and what could be added to your self-care routines.
I provided some tips on how to start making small changes to your self-care routines in Step 2.
In Step 3, I’ll be sharing 3 ways to boost ALL of your self-care strategies with research-based tools you’ve probably already heard of. Ready? Here they are:
Why Boosting Your Self-Care Can Be Tricky
When I mention boosting self-care routines with these 3 tools, I often hear some typical responses :
- I tried it and it didn’t work
- I don’t know where to start
- I think I’m doing it wrong
Even though there’s an over-abundance of resources online and through apps for all 3 of these tools, people often don’t know where to start or how to choose from all the options.
As someone who has been trained in mindfulness and uses it personally and professionally, I will tell you that not all things claiming to be about mindfulness are created equal. And people often confuse mindfulness and meditation. Getting over these two hurdles can be challenging when faced with a sea of options.
Likewise, self-compassion and gratitude are concepts you’re likely already familiar with. But again, confusing definitions and infinite resources can make it challenging to really grasp not only what these words mean but how to practice these concepts in real life.
Just because these tools are simple doesn’t mean they are easy.
Let’s explore each of the typical responses people tell me and what I often say in return:
I tried it and it didn’t work
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this one! When I explore this further, it usually uncovers one of the next two responses. I’ll ask what have you tried – specifically? I get details about what they tried, where they found the resource, what was involved. I want as many details as possible so I can better understand what was tried and why it may have not worked. Common reasons things don’t work:
- We try it once and conclude it doesn’t work if we don’t feel benefits immediately.
- We try a resource that we think should be helpful but it’s not. Instead of figuring out what about that particular resource didn’t work, we conclude that all resources about that tool won’t work.
- We are trying an advanced resource that could work if we already have been practicing the tool. But it isn’t working because we’ve skipped some steps (and don’t know it). Then conclude the tool won’t work.
I don’t know where to start
That’s okay. When you’re a beginner you don’t know where to start. In upcoming articles, I’ll be diving deep into these 3 tools used for boosting your self-care, including giving some places for you to start. Here is a cursory list of where to begin searching for resources:
- App Store
- Asking people you know what resources they find helpful
- Asking professionals for resources (doctors, therapists, etc.)
I also want to address something I encounter often as I explore this topic of where to start with people that could be helpful for you too.
One of the very basic questions I ask is how you best learn. That may seem odd, but stay with me. If you are a visual learner, you want to find resources that you can see or that evoke imagery. If you are an auditory learner, you want to find resources you can hear or that evoke your ability to listen. For you kinesthetic learners, you will likely find resources that include movement (real or imagined) to be the best for you. Keep this in mind as you look for resources. And know that just because your BFF had great results with a particular meditation doesn’t mean you’ll experience the same thing.
I think I’m doing it wrong
When starting anything new, there is a learning curve. I often liken learning new coping skills to lifting weights. You don’t expect yourself to lift weights after not lifting weights ever or for a long time to suddenly have ripped muscles. And often, that first workout leads to some soreness. But you don’t quit after one workout, you keep going. You know the soreness will go away, and that repetition and consistency will yield results.
When practicing new coping skills, such as mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude, you may feel a bit like Bambi on the ice for the first time. A little wobbly and awkward. That’s to be expected. It takes practice and consistency to yield results.
In upcoming articles, I’ll explore each of the 3 boosters (mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude) separately…because they all need their own spotlight. I’ll dive into definitions, benefits, and ways to practice each.
If you’d like more support learning to practice mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude, check out our wellness services that include workshops, classes, and retreats.
